Sweet baby Jude

      After our birth experience with Josiah, Taylor and I were nervous about having anymore children. We prayed a ton about it and went back and forth with yes we want another and no. We were especially struggling with the decision because since the hemorrhage during delivery with Josiah I had been suffering from severe iron deficiency anemia, and in July 2011 found out that I have a mild bleeding disorder where my blood doesn't clot. By the end of 2011 we decided we wanted to trust in the Lord and give Josiah a sibling. We prayed about having another baby a lot before trying. We began trying in early November and found out in early December we were expecting another blessing!! Our sweet baby is due to arrive Aug 20, 2012! We were and still are ecstatic!

As much as we are rejoicing in another blessing and gift from the Lord this pregnancy has been nothing short of challenging and complicated. This pregnancy has pushed our faith to the limits, and caused us to cling so tightly to the Lord. 

At 7 weeks pregnant I went to the ER with abdominal pain and consistent contractions 4-5 minutes apart. The baby looked healthy, but I had once again a subchorionic hemorrhage. I followed up with my Doctor within the next few days and was placed on partial bedrest which included the following: no exercise, no heavy cleaning, pelvic rest, no lifting over 15lbs, and stay off feet whenever possible. With this type of hemorrhage in early pregnancy you are at high risk of miscarriage. Taylor and I immediately had to give this situation to our GREAT PHYSICIAN, Healer, Father, and Savior. We prayed and put our sweet baby's life into the hands of our God, and knew that whatever the outcome was for our baby that it was and is for our good and His glory.

The doctors kept a close eye on the hemorrhage and our sweet baby. In most women the hemorrhage goes away on its own, but sadly mine did/has not. As you become further in pregnancy the risk changes from miscarriage to preterm labor and/or placenta abruption. The partial bedrest was also continued. This was extremely challenging with a 17 month old who had a ton of energy, and at the time we were living in a two story house.

Praise Jesus Josiah transitioned into a big boy bed easily from his crib in Jan/Feb 2012 so I no longer had to pick him up and take him out of the crib. In March of 2012 we were able to buy a home, A ONE STORY!!!!! On March 19th we learned that we were being blessed with another baby BOY!!! Sweet baby Jude!! We again were/are extremely ecstatic!!

At 16 weeks I began having preterm labor. :( I was placed on a medication called terbutaline, but it did not work so I was switched to Procardia. I had to take it twice a day, and it had terrible side effects. So eventually my doctor told me I could lower my dose to once a day and see how I do. All was well for a few week, but at 25 weeks contractions began to be intense and consistent. I saw my doctor at 26 weeks and she increased my procardia to 20mg every 6 hours, I had to receive a steroid injection to help mature Baby Jude's lungs, and also found out that I started to have cervical change. 

The next week was absolutely HORRIBLE because I started having bad side effects from the procardia. My eyes, hands, and feet began swelling every time I took it, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, drowsiness, joint pain, headache, dizziness, and near fainting. How could I care for my son when I felt like I was going to die every time I took my medicine? I saw my doctor the following Wednesday and she lowered my medication to 10 mg every 6 hours. I still had side effects but they were much more manageable.

All was well for a couple weeks, but at 29 weeks I began having frequent contractions 2-3 min apart. My medication was increased to every 4 hours and I have been placed on strict bedrest. Strict bedrest means I am only allowed to get up to use the bathroom and I am able to shower. Having a 2 year old and being on bedrest is a challenge! Taylor and I have been blessed by an AMAZING church family who has stepped up to serve us and take shifts caring for Josiah and helping with meals, etc. So here we are at 31 weeks with 5 weeks left to go before our baby boy is okay to make his entrance into the world. I say 5 weeks because my doctor wants to try and keep baby Jude in my womb until 36 weeks.

Through this journey I have had to be humbled greatly by my Savior to allow others to serve me. This is challenging for me because I would rather serve than be served so when you have to have someone care for your child, clean, cook, get your water, etc for you any pride you have has to be crushed. This is my 4th day into strict bedrest and even to have my husband serve me hand and foot has been hard. Yet I know by God's grace I will make it through these next challenging 5 weeks, one day at a time!!

Yesterday was an extremely tough day as I felt helpless and like a burden. I struggle with the fact that I am the homemaker and heart of the home yet I am unable to serve my husband and care for my child. It is hard not to feel like a failure as a mom and wife. I felt so completely defeated and weak. So much so that the last few days I have struggled to pray to my good and merciful father in heaven, who loves me more than I can ever comprehend. I had to push through the lack of desire and cry out to my GOD. Cry out to HIM in my weakness and pain. The verse that the Lord reminded me of yesterday was this...

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then,I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Through my roller coaster of emotions and moments of weakness my husband has been so gracious to me and has loved and served me well these past 7 months and especially the last 4 days. I would not want to be on this journey with anyone else. As I know this is just for a short season and its for my good and God's glory. Even in the midst of this storm GOD IS GOOD and here every step of the way and I truly am SO BLESSED!!!!


Thank you Taylor for truly being an amazing man of God and loving me like Christ loves the church!! :)

Sweet baby Jude you are already so loved by so many and have been covered in prayer since the beginning! We are all eager to meet you when the time is right!! xoxo Thank you to ALL of you that have been praying for Jude and my family through this trial!! :)